Absolutely Nothing.

My lungs seized up; fire filled my throat.

“Dude, are you okay? You look like you’re about to puke,” came Dustin’s oh-so-caring words, followed by a laugh.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t breathe.  The party clattered on: laughter, chatter, kissing, beer pong.

Tears forced their way into my formerly dry eyes, and I tried my best to force them back out. I was frozen.

“Carl.”

I’m pretty sure he said my name but I couldn’t hear him. I began to sink into myself. Into the floor. Into nothing. If the party was still going on I couldn’t hear it. I felt days pass, weeks.

All I could think about was her. It was so stupid. I just saw this girl shove a guy off of her, and I didn’t go help. I just froze up. It was too much like Kylie. It brought back every awful memory, every strand of helplessness I felt the night it happened to Kylie.

I don’t know what happened to that girl. I don’t know if she was just joking, or what. I didn’t care about her, really.

It just felt like it was happening again. It was happening again and I was doing nothing.

Absolutely nothing.